NO. NO, NO, NO. I REFUSE TO ENTERTAIN THE THOUGHT.
OH, DO STOP BEING DIFFICULT. YOU’RE RATHER CHURLISH WHEN YOU’VE HAD TOO MUCH CHAMPAGNE.
FIRST OF ALL, CAMILLE, I WOULD APPRECIATE IT IF YOU ACKNOWLEDGED THAT I’VE HAD TOO MUCH 1907 PIPER HEIDSIECK MONOPOLE, FOR WHICH I PAID $33,000 A BOTTLE. TO HEAR YOU TALK I’M STOMPING AROUND THE HOUSE IN A FIT OF KORBEL-INDUCED PIQUE. SECONDLY, I’M NOT BEING DIFFICULT. I’M BEING DISCERNING. JUST BECAUSE YOU BOUGHT ANOTHER RENOIR DOESN’T MEAN WE’RE SIMPLY GOING TO HANG IT WILLY-NILLY. THE DÉCOR IN THIS ENTIRE WING OF THE HOUSE IS ALMOST DIAMETRICALLY OPPOSED, VISUALLY, TO EARLY IMPRESSIONIST PIECES.
IT’S NOT IMPRESSIONIST. IT’S FROM HIS ‘INGRES’ PERIOD, AND I QUITE LIKE IT. I THINK IT WOULD LOOK GOOD IN THE LIBRARY.
DO TELL ME YOU’RE JOKING. YOU DIDN’T REALLY BUY A RENOIR FROM THE DRY PERIOD, DID YOU?
UMBRELLAS, ACTUALLY. SOMETHING ABOUT IT SPOKE TO ME.
REALLY? DID IT SAY “HELLO, CAMILLE. YOU OBVIOUSLY KNOW NOTHING ABOUT ART. I AM ONE OF THE FEW DEMONSTRABLE FAILURES IN AN OTHERWISE CRITICALLY LAUDED MASTER’S CAREER! TAKE ME HOME WITH YOU! HANG ME ABOVE THE BIDET!”
… YES. YOU’VE CUT TO THE THICK OF IT. THAT IS WHAT THE PAINTING SAID WHEN IT LITERALLY SPOKE TO ME. ASSHOLE.
The National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) has a need for Astronaut Candidates to support the International Space Station (ISS) Program and future deep space exploration activities.
Some requirements for the job:
- Frequent travel may be required.
- Astronaut candidates will be required to pass a swimming test during the first month of training.
- Position subject to pre-employment background investigation.
- Travel to and from the ISS will be aboard the Russian Soyuz vehicle. Consequently, astronauts must meet the Soyuz size requirements.
Think you’ve got the right stuff? Learn more about the job and apply today.
YOU KNOW WHEN YOU’RE JUST DRIVING AROUND OR YOU’RE IN H&M OR SOMETHING AND SOME STUPID SONG COMES ON AND IT JUST DIGS UP ALL THESE FEELINGS THAT YOU DIDN’T EVEN KNOW WERE BURIED IN THE SEDIMENT AT THE BOTTOM OF YOUR HEART AND YOU’RE JUST SITTING AT A RED LIGHT OR FONDLING A SWEATER AND YOU START GETTING THE WEEPS? LIKE YOUR EYES JUST START LEAKING AND SUDDENLY YOU’RE THINKING ABOUT THE WAY YOUR EX’S HAIR SMELLED OR A T-SHIRT THEY HAD THAT WAS FALLING APART AND IT’S JUST AVRIL LAVIGNE’S ‘MY HAPPY ENDING’ OR FUCKING HALL & OATES OR SOMETHING AND YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW WHY YOU’RE CRYING, LET ALONE CRYING TO THE MUSICAL EQUIVALENT OF A STICK OF GUM, AND YOU START THINKING ABOUT TIME MACHINES AND L’ESPIRIT DE L’ESCALIER OR RILKE QUOTES OR WHATEVER AND THE SALESGIRL IS JUST LOOKING AT YOU LIKE, “WHAT’S YOUR PROBLEM?” AND YOU WANT TO SCREAM, “SOMETIMES I FEEL FEELINGS, YOU PERT, JUDGMENTAL EATING DISORDER BILLBOARD! LEAVE ME ALONE!” BUT YOU DON’T, YOU JUST PUT THE SWEATER BACK OR THE LIGHT CHANGES AND YOU GO ON ABOUT YOUR DAY AND THE FEELING FADES BUT YOU WONDER FOR HOURS WHAT ELSE IS BURIED DOWN THERE, WAITING FOR A RYAN ADAMS SONG OR A STARBUCKS COMMERCIAL TO DISLODGE IT AND RUIN YOUR WHOLE EVENING?
BASICALLY THAT.
I’M LIKE A TICKING TIME BOMB OF USELESS NOSTALGIA FOR THINGS THAT PROBABLY NEVER EXISTED.
FORGET ABOUT IT. I’LL BE FINE IN TEN MINUTES. LET’S JUST GET A LATTÉ AND GO TO SEPHORA. I’M ALMOST OUT OF MASCARA.
Megan Lara brings another Art Nouveau style piece to her arsenal and gives it an awesome Portal 2 spin. It was created for a good cause too!
“This is a poster I did for Desert Bus For Hope 5. They’ll be auctioning off a 12” x 18” print of it for the children” - Megan Lara
Art Nouveau Chell Poster by Megan Lara (Tumblr) (Facebook) (Twitter)
Mirror and Apple
I dreamt this while half awake on a sleeping medication. It was short, but shining with vividness and meaning.
African-American ladies were turning 16oz amber glass bottles over right side up in a medium, shallow cardboard box. This is not really that interesting because I work with lots of amber glass bottles at work. What was interesting was at the bottom of the box. I removed some bottles to find a large, golden, ornate, hand-held mirror, and a bright red apple. They were inseparable as an image.
From the Federal Trade Commission (FTC):
The Federal Trade Commission, the nation’s consumer protection agency, charged Reebok with making claims about EasyTone and RunTone shoes that the company couldn’t support. According to the FTC, Reebok claimed that using these products would strengthen…
Learn about and try new recipes or find healthier versions of some of your favorites in the recipe databases from the USDA’s National Agriculture Library.
The recipe finder database lets you explore new and traditional recipes. You can give feedback, rate the recipes on a 1-5 scale, and submit your own recipes to be included in the database.
If you’re looking for vegetarian options, the fruits and veggies database has over 1000 recipes.
The USDA offers other databases based around certain food groups such as dry bean recipes or specific spices. You can also find guides to fit good nutrition into a busy life and tips for modifying your favorite dishes to make them more healthy.
